Series: The Cave
Sermon Title: The Expectation Gap
Passage: I Kings 19:9-14ESV

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Pastor Jericho Toilolo

 

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Series: The Cave
Sermon Title: The Expectation Gap
Passage: I Kings 19:9-14ESV

SERMON POINTS: 

1. Despair often begins where expectations go to die.

• Proverbs 13:12
• Psalm 42:11
• Luke 24:21

2. Holy Expectancy says, “God will speak.”… Human Expectation says, “God should’ve spoken by now—and in the way I imagined.”

• 1 Kings 19:11-12 (ESV)
• Isaiah 55:8-9
• John 10:27

3. Holy Expectancy says, “God is moving, even when I can’t see it.”… Human Expectation says, “If God were really working, things would look different by now.”

• John 5:17
• Romans 8:28
• Habakkuk 1:5

4. Holy Expectancy says, “God’s goodness is certain, even if this season isn’t.”… Human Expectation says, “If God is good, then my life should feel good, look good, and work out the way I planned.”

• Psalm 27:13
• Jeremiah 29:11
• James 1:7

 

GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

1. When expectations break 

• How have unmet expectations—spiritually or relationally—led you into a place of discouragement or even despair?
• Supporting Scripture: Proverbs 13:12 
• Follow-Up: In what ways have you seen God begin to heal or reframe that disappointment over time?

2. Examining the roots of our despair

• Primary Question: Elijah was crushed not just by fear but by disappointment in what he thought God would do. What expectation did Elijah have that God didn’t meet?
• Supporting Scripture: 1 Kings 19:10, Psalm 42:11
• Follow-Up: Where might your despair today be rooted in an expectation that God hasn’t fulfilled in the way you imagined?

3. Holy expectancy vs. controlling expectations

• Primary Question: What’s the difference between believing God will speak and demanding how and when He should?
• Supporting Scripture: Isaiah 55:8–9, Habakkuk 2:1–3
• Follow-Up: How can you begin to posture your heart toward holy expectancy in your current circumstances?

4. Listening for the whisper

• Primary Question: Why do you think God chose to reveal Himself to Elijah not in the fire or earthquake, but in a gentle whisper?
• Supporting Scripture: 1 Kings 19:11–12, Psalm 46:10
• Follow-Up: What might God be teaching you about how He speaks—and how you listen?

5. Releasing false expectations

• Primary Question: How have human expectations shaped your view of God’s faithfulness?
• Supporting Scripture: Romans 8:28, Lamentations 3:22–24
• Follow-Up: What expectation might you need to surrender in order to make space for a deeper trust in God’s goodness?

6. Holding onto the true promises

• Primary Question: What’s the difference between God’s promises and our assumptions about what those promises should look like?
• Supporting Scripture: 2 Corinthians 1:20, Hebrews 10:23
• Follow-Up: Which promise from God do you need to anchor yourself in more deeply right now?

7. The tension between pain and presence

• Primary Question: Elijah was honest with God—even raw and dramatic. What does this teach us about being emotionally present with God?
• Supporting Scripture: Psalm 62:8, Hebrews 4:15–16
• Follow-Up: How might naming your pain to God not denying or minimizing it open the door to deeper intimacy with Him?

8. Moving from outcome-based faith to relational trust

• Primary Question: What shifts when we stop trusting God for a specific outcome and start trusting Him as a person?
• Supporting Scripture: Job 13:15, John 6:68–69
• Follow-Up: Where is God inviting you to let go of control and deepen your relational trust in His character?

 

DAILY REFLECTION QUESTIONS:

Day 1: Acknowledging Disappointment

• Reflective Question:
  Where have I felt let down by God or disappointed by how life has turned out?
• Meditative Prompt:
  Sit quietly and name the disappointment before God. Don’t rush to resolve it, just be honest. Imagine God receiving it with compassion, not judgment.
• Scripture: Psalm 62:8 

Day 2: Naming Unmet Expectations

• Reflective Question:
  What expectations have I placed on God that He hasn’t fulfilled in the way I hoped?
• Meditative Prompt:
  Journal these expectations. Ask God to help you discern which ones were rooted in trust and which were rooted in control.
• Scripture: Isaiah 55:8–9

Day 3: Recognizing the Whisper

• Reflective Question:
  Have I been looking for God in dramatic ways while missing His gentle whisper?
• Meditative Prompt:
  Spend five minutes in silence. Listen—not for answers or feelings, but for presence. Ask, “Lord, what are you whispering in this quiet moment?”
• Scripture: 1 Kings 19:12 

Day 4: Moving from Control to Trust

• Reflective Question:
  What areas of my life am I still trying to control instead of trusting God with open hands?
• Meditative Prompt:
  Visualize yourself handing over each area of control to Jesus—one by one. With each, say, “I trust You with this.”
• Scripture: Proverbs 3:5–6 

Day 5: Letting Go of the Script

• Reflective Question:
  What script have I written for my life that God hasn’t followed—and how has that impacted my faith?
• Meditative Prompt:
  Prayerfully release that script. Write a simple prayer of surrender, asking God to write His better story in you.
• Scripture: Romans 8:28

Day 6: Reframing the Gap

• Reflective Question:
  What if the gap between my expectations and reality is actually space for transformation?
• Meditative Prompt:
  Invite God into the gap. Ask Him, “What are You doing in the space between what I hoped for and what I’m experiencing?”
• Scripture: 2 Corinthians 4:17 

Day 7: Choosing Holy Expectancy

• Reflective Question:
  Am I willing to trust that God is still moving, even when I don’t understand how?
• Meditative Prompt:
  Declare by faith today: “God, I believe You are speaking. I believe You are working. I choose to wait and listen.”
• Scripture: Lamentations 3:25

 

SCRIPTURES TO MEDITATE ON:

• 2 Corinthians 4:17 
• Philippians 1:6
• Proverbs 13:12 
• Psalm 70:5

 

RESOURCES:

• BOOK | THE GIFT OF BEING YOURSELF |  DAVID BENNER
• PODCAST | GETTING OPUT OF THE SHAME STORM | BILL & KRISTI GAULTIERE
• VIDEO | CHOOSING HOPE IN DEPRESSION | GLORIA UMANAH

 

MONTHLY SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE: Prayer

Discipline of Prayer – Week 2: Breath Prayer Exercise

Prayer is our heart’s language of love toward God. It’s the quiet space where our desires and inner realities align with God’s own heartbeat. Theophan the Recluse described prayer beautifully, saying it’s about “descending with the mind into the heart, and there standing before the face of the Lord, ever-present and all-seeing within you.”

Prayer is far deeper and more transformative than many of us realize. It gently uncovers what we hide, shapes our souls from within, and sensitizes us to the struggles and injustices surrounding us. In prayer, our hearts become vessels, able to hold the tears of brokenness—and channels, pouring compassion outward into a hurting world.

Ancient Jewish wisdom reminds us that prayer is about intentionally recognizing God’s presence. The posture of our hearts prepares us inwardly, creating space for true connection with Him.

This week, we’ll practice breath prayers. Breath prayers are simple, rhythmic prayers synced with our breathing. Just as breathing sustains physical life, breath prayer reminds us of our constant dependence on God for spiritual life. It helps us cultivate a lifestyle of continuous prayer and intimacy with Him.

As you breathe, slowly inhale a truth about God, then exhale a personal prayer or response anchored in that truth. Here are a few examples…

•   Breathe in: “God is victorious.”

Breathe out: “Everything will be okay.”

•   Breathe in: “God is with me.”

Breathe out: “I am not alone.”

•   Breathe in: “Jesus.”

Breathe out: “Have mercy on me.”

 

Three-Level Breath Prayer Exercise:

🌱 For the New Believer: Establishing the Rhythm

•   Step 1: Choose a simple truth about God, such as “God is good.”
•   Step 2: Inhale slowly, silently praying “God is good.” Exhale gently, whispering, “I trust You.”
•   Step 3: Set aside 2-3 minutes each morning this week, building consistency and forming a rhythm of connection with God.

🌿 For the Growing Believer: Deepening Awareness

•   Step 1: Choose a biblical truth relevant to your current situation, like “God is faithful.”
•   Step 2: Integrate breath prayer into your daily moments—stressful situations, transitions, or quiet pauses.

Inhale deeply: “God is faithful.”

Exhale slowly: “I rest in You.”

•   Step 3: Reflect in your journal on how practicing this prayer is influencing your awareness of God’s presence and your responses to daily challenges.

🌳 For the Mature Believer: Cultivating Continuous Communion

•   Step 1: Select a meaningful phrase tied to deeper spiritual truths you’re currently exploring, such as “Christ within me.”
•   Step 2: Let breath prayer become a continuous practice throughout your day, quietly guiding you beneath your activities.

Inhale intentionally: “Christ within me.”

Exhale calmly: “My hope and strength.”

•   Step 3: Close each day by reflecting on how this prayer shaped your inner posture, deepened your intimacy with God, and transformed your perspective toward your circumstances.

May this practice gently guide you toward deeper communion and dependence with the God, who lovingly breathes life into you every moment.

 

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: Living in the Expectation Gap: by Rob Hans Spiritual Formation Pastor | LifeChurch NV

There’s a line from this week’s sermon that keeps echoing in my soul: “Despair often begins where expectations go to die.” If you’ve walked with God for any length of time, you know how true that is.

In 1 Kings 19:9–14, we find Elijah in a cave—not just geographically, but spiritually and emotionally. After calling down fire from heaven, after a victory over the prophets of Baal, Elijah expected a revival. Instead, he gets a death threat from Jezebel. And just like that, the bottom falls out. He runs. He hides. He spirals. His expectations of how God should have responded didn’t line up with his experience. And the gap between what he expected and what he lived became the breeding ground for despair.

If we’re honest, that gap exists in all of us. It shows up in relationships that break when we prayed they’d hold. In jobs that drain when we thought they’d fulfill. In prayers that go unanswered—at least in the way we imagined. This gap, this space between what we hoped for and what we’re walking through, becomes more than disappointment—it becomes disorientation. And if we’re not careful, it becomes our lens for God Himself.

I’ve experienced this personally. There was a season in my life when I believed God had clearly called me to move my family—not once, but three times. Each time, I stepped out in obedience. Two of those seasons turned out to be not just challenging, but deeply painful. I remember wondering: If God is good, why does obedience hurt so much? But over time, I’ve come to realize something essential: God doesn’t always lead us to comfort. He often leads us into formation. He doesn’t promise pain-free outcomes—He promises His faithful presence.

This is where the tension of holy expectancy comes in. As Pastor Dave unpacked, holy expectancy says, “God will speak.” But human expectation says, “God should’ve spoken by now—and in the way I imagined.” Holy expectancy says, “God is moving, even if I can’t see it.” Human expectation says, “If God were really at work, things would look different.” One posture waits in trust; the other demands in frustration.

The whisper Elijah hears in the cave is everything. Not wind. Not fire. Not earthquake. A whisper. God doesn’t show up in spectacle—He shows up in stillness. And if Elijah hadn’t slowed down enough to listen, he would’ve missed it.

We’re often tempted to measure God’s faithfulness by how closely our outcomes match our expectations. But the truth is, God’s goodness isn’t proven by our comfort—it’s revealed through His character. Even in pain. Especially in pain. Psalm 34:8 says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good,” and yet, that can be hard to believe when life feels bitter. The gap between what Scripture says and what we feel can tempt us to put a question mark over God’s goodness. But that’s precisely where faith is formed—in the gap.

Every experience, good or painful, becomes holy ground when it is interpreted through the lens of God’s truth. That’s the journey of spiritual formation. It’s not just about closing the gap between expectation and experience—it’s about anchoring our hearts to the God who remains faithful in both.

You may be in a cave right now. You may feel like God has gone quiet, like your prayers have hit a ceiling. But I promise you this: He’s still speaking. Maybe not in the way you thought. Maybe not on your timeline. But He’s still there. And He’s still good.