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Series: Forgive and Forget?
Sermon Title: Forgiveness 201
Passage: Luke 17:3-4

SERMON POINTS:

 Why does forgiveness matter?

1. Because of what God has done for us. 
   • Luke 17:3-4
   • Matthew 18:21-35 
2. Because of what it says about us. 
   • Matthew 6:12-15
3. Because of what the alternative does to us.  
   • Ephesians 4:26-27 
   • Hebrews 12:15 
4. Because of the picture it paints through us. 
   • Ephesians 4:32

5 MINUTE DAILY DIVE QUESTIONS:

Forgiveness 201:  Daily Dive: Why does forgiveness matter?

Based on Matthew 18:21–35

Monday — Remembering Grace Received

• Reflection Question: When you think about how much God has forgiven you, what comes to mind first—freedom, disbelief, or gratitude?

• Go Deeper: If forgiveness is a gift you could never earn, how might that truth soften how you see others who don’t deserve yours?

• Scripture to Reflect On: Psalm 103:10 – “He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.” 

Tuesday — What Forgiveness Reveals About Me

• Reflection Question: What does your willingness—or resistance—to forgive reveal about your view of God’s grace?

• Go Deeper: When you withhold forgiveness, are you trying to be the judge instead of the forgiven? What might that say about who sits on the throne of your heart?

• Scripture to Reflect On: Colossians 3:13 – “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” 

Wednesday — The Poison of Unforgiveness

• Reflection Question: Where in your life are you still carrying the quiet weight of resentment?

• Go Deeper: How has holding on to that wound affected your peace, your body, or your relationships? What would healing look like if you laid it down before God?

• Scripture to Reflect On: Ephesians 4:26–27 “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” 

Thursday — The Gospel on Display

• Reflection Question: When have you seen forgiveness that looked undeniably like Jesus?

• Go Deeper: If people only knew God by watching how you handle hurt, what version of the gospel would they see?

• Scripture to Reflect On: Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” 

Friday — Canceling Debt, Not Excusing Sin

• Reflection Question: How does forgiving someone differ from excusing or ignoring what they did?

• Go Deeper: What emotional or relational “debts” are you still keeping score of—and what would it take to cancel them, as Christ canceled yours?

• Scripture to Reflect On: Matthew 6:12 – “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” 

Saturday — Trusting God with Justice

• Reflection Question: What wrong are you still trying to make right on your own?

• Go Deeper: What would it look like to surrender that burden and trust God to handle justice His way and in His timing?

• Scripture to Reflect On: Romans 12:19 “Do not take revenge… ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”  

Sunday — Forgiveness as Formation

• Reflection Question: How is forgiving others shaping who you are becoming?

• Go Deeper: What part of your soul needs God’s help to move from bitterness to freedom, from control to peace, from fear to love?

• Scripture to Reflect On: 2 Corinthians 3:18 – “And we all… are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory.” ‭

SCRIPTURES TO MEDITATE ON:

• Romans 12:17, 19
• Colossians 3:13
• Psalm 34:18
• Romans 12:21

SERIES RESOURCES:

• BOOK | Lysa TerKeurst | Forgiving What You Can’t Forget 
• BOOK | Dr. David Stoop | Forgiving What you’d Never Forget 
• Article | What Forgiveness Is Not | Center for Biblical and Cultural Discernment 
• Article | GOSPEL CENTERED DISCIPLESHIP | HOW TO FORGIVE 
• PODCAST | RUSSELL MOORE SHOW | TIM KELLER SAYS FORGIVENESS IS KEY TO CHRISTIAN WITNESS 

GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

Forgiveness 201: “Why Forgive?”
Text: Matthew 18:21–35

1. Because of what God has done for us. Gratitude for forgiveness received

• • Primary Question: When you think about what God has forgiven in you, what emotion rises first—gratitude, guilt, relief, or disbelief?
  • Follow-Up Question: How might growing in gratitude for God’s mercy change the way you respond when others wrong you?
  • Supportive Scripture: Ephesians 4:32 –“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” 

2. Because of what it says about us. Forgiveness reveals our true understanding of grace

• • Primary Question: The sermon suggests that forgiving others reveals whether we truly understand the grace and forgiveness of God—that we are “never more like God than when we forgive.” What part of you resists this idea? What does your struggle to forgive reveal about what you actually believe about God’s character or your own standing before Him?
  • Follow-Up Question: How might forgiving others, deepen your own spiritual life and journey towards maturity?
  • Supportive Scripture:Colossians 3:13 – “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” 

3. Because of what the alternative does to us. Unforgiveness is poison

• • Primary Question: What happens in your heart, body, and relationships when you hold onto resentment?
  • Follow-Up Question: Can you name a time when bitterness quietly shaped your behavior or worldview? What did it cost you emotionally or spiritually?
  • Supportive Scripture: Ephesians 4:26–27 – “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” 

4. Because of the picture it paints through us. Forgiveness displays the gospel

• • Primary Question: When have you witnessed forgiveness that made you think, “That must be what Jesus looks like”?
  • Follow-Up Question: What does your willingness—or reluctance—to forgive communicate to those who don’t yet know Christ?
  • Supportive Scripture: Hebrews 12:15 – “See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” 

5. Because forgiveness is countercultural. The world excuses, Christ cancels

• • Primary Question: In our culture, people are quick to “cancel” but slow to forgive. How is biblical forgiveness different from excusing or overlooking sin?
  • Follow-Up Question: What would it look like to embody forgiveness that actually cancels debt instead of just softening judgment?
  • Supportive Scripture: Matthew 6:12 – “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” 

6. Because it witnesses to the watching world. Forgiveness is the mark of the Kingdom

• • Primary Question: The early church grew rapidly despite brutal persecution, partly because Christians refused to retaliate and showed love to their enemies. That was so countercultural it was attractive. What would it look like for your forgiveness (or journey toward forgiveness) to be so radically different from the culture’s response that it makes people curious about Jesus?
  • Follow-Up Question: The sermon says “we demonstrate the gospel every time we forgive.” Who is watching your life right now: children, coworkers, neighbors, unbelieving friends, and what are they learning about Jesus from how you handle being wronged? What gospel are you actually preaching with your unforgiveness?
  • Supportive Scripture: Matthew 5:16 – “Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” 

7. Because we trust God with justice. Forgiveness releases control

• • Primary Question: When you struggle to forgive, what part of the story do you still feel responsible to “fix” or control?
  • Follow-Up Question: How does believing that God will one day right all wrongs free you to forgive in the present?
  • Supportive Scripture: Romans 12:19– “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath… ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” 

8. Because forgiveness forms us. Forgiveness is spiritual formation in motion

• • Primary Question: How would your relationship with unforgiveness and others change if you really believed that Jesus will settle all accounts perfectly, and you don’t have to? What would you be free to do or feel?
  • Follow-Up Question: What does it reveal about your heart when endless forgiveness feels unfair or impossible? This week, what is one concrete way you can practice releasing someone’s debt against you—even if it’s just in prayer—trusting that God’s justice is better than yours?
  • Supportive Scripture: 2 Corinthians 3:18–  “And we all… are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory.”

 

MONTHLY SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE: Detachment

So here we are, 4 weeks in. You’ve been practicing detachment for a few weeks now, and I want to invite you to pause. Slow your breathing. Ask yourself honestly: What still has its hooks in you? What situation, relationship, title, or imagined future keeps pulling your heart away from peace? Where are you still functioning from fear instead of from your redeemed self in Christ?

Sometimes it’s a wound from the past we keep rehearsing. Sometimes it’s a future we’re gripping so tightly that our knuckles ache. Either way, something—or someone—has quietly taken the seat that belongs only to God. And when that happens, we start believing the old lie: “If I lose this, I lose myself.”

Detachment is not cold indifference; it’s holy realignment. It’s not about caring less—it’s about caring rightly. It’s the courageous act of naming what’s stealing your rest and releasing it into the hands of the One who already holds your life. When you choose detachment, you’re not stepping away from love; you’re stepping deeper into it, the love that cannot be lost, the identity that cannot be shaken, the grace that cannot be earned.

So take a deep breath. Name what’s keeping you bound. Bring it into the light. Because until you surrender that false security to the relentless, undeserved love of God, you’ll keep living as a slave when you’ve already been called a beloved son or daughter.

 

Daily practices:

Day 1 – Notice What Has Its Hooks in You

• • Focus: Awareness
  • Scripture: Psalm 139:23 – “Search me, God, and know my heart.” 

• Practice (10 Minutes):

1. Stillness (2 min): Sit quietly and breathe deeply. Whisper, “Christ in me… I am safe in Your love.”
2. Awareness (3 min): Ask, “Lord, what still pulls me away from You?” Let a person, fear, or desire rise. Don’t fix—just notice.
   Naming (2 min): Say quietly, “This has my heart.”
3. Release (2 min): Visualize placing it in Jesus’ hands.
4. Rest (1 min): Sit in silence and breathe, “You alone are enough.”

Day 2 – Releasing Control

• • Focus: Letting Go of Outcomes
  • Scripture: Proverbs 3:5 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” 

• Practice (10 Minutes):

1. Center (2 min): Breathe deeply. Imagine your clenched fists slowly opening.
2. Awareness (3 min): Ask, “What am I trying to control today?”
3. Surrender (3 min): Pray, “Jesus, I trust You with this outcome.”
4. Scripture Meditation (1 min): Repeat Proverbs 3:5 slowly.
5. Rest (1 min): Breathe gratitude for God’s faithful control.

Day 3 – The False Self and the True Self

• • Focus: Identity in Christ
  • Scripture: Galatians 2:20 – “I have been crucified with Christ… Christ lives in me.” \

• Practice (10 Minutes):

1. Stillness (2 min): Inhale “I am loved.” Exhale “I am enough.”
2. Reflection (3 min): Ask, “Where am I living for approval instead of from identity?”
3. Naming (2 min): Speak: “This version of me is not who I truly am.”
4. Release (2 min): Offer that false image to God.
5. Rest (1 min): Sit quietly in His gaze of love.

Day 4 – The Courage to Name Desire

• • Focus: Holy Desire
  • Scripture: Psalm 37:4–  “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” 

• Practice (10 Minutes):

1. Quiet (2 min): Breathe slowly, becoming aware of your longing.
2. Honesty (3 min): Ask, “Lord, what do I most want right now?”
3. Discernment (2 min): Ask, “Is this desire leading me toward or away from You?”
4. Surrender (2 min): Pray, “Shape my desires to match Yours.”
5. Rest (1 min): Whisper, “Your will is my peace.”

Day 5 – Detaching from Fear

• • Focus: Freedom from Anxiety
  • Scripture: 1 Peter 5:7– “Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” 

• Practice (10 Minutes):

1. Grounding (2 min): Feel your feet on the floor. Breathe deeply.
2. Awareness (3 min): Ask, “What fear is stealing my peace today?”
3. Confession (2 min): Say, “Lord, this fear doesn’t define me. You do.”
4. Release (2 min): Imagine dropping that fear into His hands.
5. Rest (1 min): Let His care wash over you like calm water.

Day 6 – Detaching from Approval

• • Focus: Living for the Audience of One
  • Scripture: Galatians 1:10 – “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?” 

• Practice (10 Minutes):

1. Stillness (2 min): Settle into silence.
2. Awareness (3 min): Ask, “Whose opinion do I fear or crave?”
3. Naming (2 min): Say, “Jesus, I release my need to be seen.”
4. Recenter (2 min): Picture His eyes of delight over you.
5. Rest (1 min): Whisper, “Your love is my validation.”

Day 7 – Living Free

• • Focus: Living from the Beloved Self
  • Scripture: 2 Corinthians 3:17 – “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

• Practice (10 Minutes):

1. Gratitude (2 min): Name three gifts of this week—moments of peace, clarity, or release.
2. Awareness (2 min): Ask, “Where do I feel lighter? Where do I still cling?”
3. Surrender (3 min): Pray, “I am Yours. Free me to love without fear.”
4. Scripture Meditation (2 min): Read 2 Corinthians 3:17 slowly three times.

Rest (1 min): Sit quietly in the freedom of belonging.