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- Carson Campus: Pastor Dusty Braun
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SERMON POINTS:
Series: Forgive and Forget?
Sermon Title: Forgiveness 101
Passage: Luke 17
Four ways we get forgiveness wrong.
- Refuse it.
Luke 17:3-5 - Minimize it.
- Expect Instant Amnesia.
- Guarantee Reconciliation.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Four ways we get forgiveness right.
- Recognize the humanity of the offender.
Luke 17:3 - Release the person and absorb their debt against me.
Matthew 6:12
Colossians 2:13-14 - Relinquish my rights. (To: get even, be angry, keep discussing)
Romans 12:17-21 - Reach towards kindness and blessing.
Ephesians 4:31-32
5 MINUTE DAILY DIVE QUESTIONS:
Monday: The First Tension
- Reflection Question: Who is one person who recently hurt or disappointed you?
- Go Deeper: What part of you felt most activated—was it a protector, a younger part, or a justice-seeking part?
- Scripture to Reflect On: Luke 17:3
- “If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them.”
Tuesday: Naming What You Lost
- Reflection Question: What was taken from you in that moment—trust, peace, respect, or something else?
- Go Deeper: Is there a part of you that’s still holding the loss because no one validated it?
- Scripture to Reflect On: Psalm 34:18
- “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Wednesday: Shallow Forgiveness or Real Freedom?
- Reflection Question: Have you ever said, “It’s fine” or “I forgive you,” but felt unresolved inside?Go Deeper: What did that youn
- ger part of you need in that moment—acknowledgement, boundaries, or permission to grieve?
- Scripture to Reflect On: Proverbs 14:10
- “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can fully share its joy.”
Thursday: Releasing What You’re Owed
- Reflection Question: What “debt” are you still hoping that person will repay—an apology, remorse, or justice?
- Go Deeper: What fear surfaces when you consider releasing that debt? What would it cost emotionally?
- Scripture to Reflect On: Matthew 6:12
- “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
Friday: Letting Go of the Right to Hold On
- Reflection Question: Are there ways you’re still rehearsing the story or keeping the offense alive?
- Go Deeper: Which part of you believes that letting go means giving up your power or self-worth?
- Scripture to Reflect On: Romans 12:19
- “Do not take revenge… ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
Saturday: Imagining Kindness
- Reflection Question: What would it look like to wish well or show kindness toward the person who hurt you?
- Go Deeper: What resistance arises in you—and what does that resistance need from God today?
- Scripture to Reflect On: Romans 12:21
- “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Sunday: Healing the Inner System
- Reflection Question: What part of you still carries the pain, even if the situation is behind you?
- Go Deeper: Invite the Holy Spirit to meet that part today. What does it need to hear from God—not from the offender, but from your Father?
- Scripture to Reflect On: Colossians 2:14
- “He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross.
SCRIPTURES TO MEDITATE ON:
SERIES RESOURCES:
- BOOK | Lysa TerKeurst | Forgiving What You Can’t Forget
- BOOK | Dr. David Stoop | Forgiving What you’d Never Forget
- Article | What Forgiveness Is Not | Center for Biblical and Cultural Discernment
- Article | GOSPEL CENTERED DISCIPLESHIP | HOW TO FORGIVE
- PODCAST | RUSSELL MOORE SHOW | TIM KELLER SAYS FORGIVENESS IS KEY TO CHRISTIAN WITNESS
GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
PRIMARY MISUNDERSTANDING: “They Don’t Deserve It!”
- Primary Question: When you think about someone who has wounded you, what internal voice or feeling rises up that makes forgiveness feel impossible or unfair? Can you name that part of yourself that’s resisting?
- Secondary Question: Looking at the four ways we get forgiveness wrong (refusing it, minimizing it, expecting instant amnesia, or guaranteeing reconciliation), which pattern do you most naturally fall into, and what do you think that reveals about what you’re protecting in yourself?
- Supportive Scripture: Luke 17:3: “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.”
2. The HUMANITY OF THE OFFENDER
- Primary Question: As we forgive, we need to “recognize the humanity of the offender,” what makes this so difficult? What would it look like to hold both the truth that someone deeply hurt you AND the truth that they are a broken human being loved by God
- Secondary Question: Think of someone you’re struggling to forgive. What do you imagine might be their own wounds, fears, or broken attachments that led them to hurt you? How does considering their story change (or not change) how you feel?
- Supportive Scripture: Ephesians 4:15: “Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ…”
3. THE MYTH OF “FORGIVE AND FORGET”
- Primary Question: Why do we sometimes feel pressure to “move on” quickly when we haven’t fully healed?
- Secondary Question: How can remembering rightly lead to deeper healing, rather than bitterness?
- Supportive Scripture: Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive one another… Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
4. FALSE RECONCILIATION: “It’s all back to normal now”
- Primary Question: What’s the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation in your lived experience?
- Secondary Question: When have you felt obligated to restore a relationship before your heart was ready?
- Supportive Scripture: Romans 12:18: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
5. LETTING GO OF RIGHTS: “I release my right to revenge”
- Primary Question: Of the three rights mentioned (to get even, to stay angry, to keep talking about it), which one feels most like your “right” to hold onto? What are you afraid will happen if you release that right?
- Secondary Question: There’s often a part of us that believes holding onto anger or rehearsing the offense protects us somehow. What is that protective part trying to keep you safe from? Is it actually working?
- Supportive Scripture: Romans 12:17, 19: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil… Do not take revenge… but leave room for God’s wrath.”
6. Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation
- Primary Question: The sermon distinguishes between forgiveness (something you can do unilaterally) and reconciliation (which requires repentance and may not always be possible or wise). How does understanding this difference change the pressure you feel about forgiveness?
- Secondary Question: Is there a relationship where you’ve confused “I must forgive” with “I must reconcile and trust again”? What boundaries might you need to maintain even as you work toward forgiveness?
- Supportive Scripture: 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 – “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.”
7. BLESSING THOSE WHO HURT US
- Primary Question: How have you practiced (or struggled to practice) blessing or showing kindness toward someone who wronged you?
- Secondary Question: How does your view of God shape your capacity to extend kindness?
- Supportive Scripture: Luke 6:27-28:“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you… pray for those who mistreat you.”
8. THE HEALING PATH OF FORGIVENESS
- Primary Question: What healing have you experienced when you’ve chosen to forgive — not just once, but over time?
- Secondary Question: What still needs healing in your heart, and what might God be inviting you to release today?
- Supportive Scripture: Colossians 2:14:“He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross.”
MONTHLY SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINE: Detachment
How We Begin Practicing Detachment
Theme: Awareness and Small Steps
Detachment begins with awareness—learning to notice what hooks our hearts. Through prayer, silence, and Scripture, we name what holds us and invite God to loosen its grip. Paul wrote, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.” (Galatians 2:20)
That kind of surrender isn’t passive—it’s an active letting go. We cast our cares, desires, and outcomes at the feet of Jesus, trusting that His care is better than our control. Our attachments—control, approval, comfort, recognition—form knots within us. Detachment is the slow, grace-filled work of untangling those knots so that our lives can be woven into the desires of God’s Kingdom instead of our own.
Daily Practice:
Day 1 – Awareness: What Hooks My Heart
Morning Practice – Notice What Pulls You
- Sit in stillness for one minute.
- Ask: “Lord, what do I most cling to—control, approval, comfort, or success?”
- Pray: “Jesus, show me what holds me so You can hold me instead.”
- Scripture: Psalm 139:23–24
Evening Practice – Gentle Reflection
- Recall one moment today when your peace slipped away.
- What triggered it?
- Pray: “I release this moment to You, Lord. Teach me to rest, not react.”
- Scripture: 1 Peter 5:7
Day 2 – Releasing Control
Morning Practice – Open Hands
- Breathe deeply and open your hands before God.
- Whisper: “I surrender my plans and outcomes to You.”
- Reflect: What do I try to manage that belongs to God?
- Scripture: Proverbs 3:5–6
Evening Practice – Review the Day
- Where did you grasp for control today?
- Pray: “Father, untangle my need to control. Teach me to trust Your way.”
- Scripture: Matthew 6:33–34
Day 3 – Trusting Identity Over Outcomes
Morning Practice – Rest in Being Known
- Sit quietly and imagine God looking at you with love.
- Pray: “My worth is in You, not in what I achieve.”
- Scripture: Ephesians 2:10
Evening Practice – Release the Results
- Review your day: What outcome didn’t go your way?
- Pray: “Jesus, I give You what I cannot change. Live Your life in me.”
- Scripture: Galatians 2:20
Day 4 – Naming Desires
Morning Practice – Honest Desire
- Ask: “Lord, what do I want most today? What do I need from You?”
- Don’t judge—just name it.
- Pray: “Shape my desires until they reflect Your heart.”
- Scripture: Psalm 37:4
Evening Practice – Untangling the Knot
- Picture your desires as knots in a cord.
- Ask: “Which knot do You want to loosen tonight?”
- Sit with the image and rest in His patience.
- Scripture: Philippians 4:6–7
Day 5 – Letting Go of Approval
Morning Practice – Hidden Faithfulness
- Reflect: Would I still choose obedience if no one noticed?
- Pray: “Father, I want Your approval more than anyone else’s.”
- Scripture: John 12:43
Evening Practice – Honest Confession
- Recall one time you sought recognition or feared rejection.
- Confess it to God.
- Pray: “Jesus, secure my heart in Your love alone.”
- Scripture: Romans 8:38–39
Day 6 – Embracing Stillness
Morning Practice – Silence Before God
- Spend two minutes in silence.
- Each time your mind drifts, return to the prayer: “Christ in me.”
- Scripture: Psalm 46:10
Evening Practice – Rest in His Presence
- Before bed, breathe slowly:
- Inhale: “You are God.”
- Exhale: “I am not.”
- Rest knowing His care continues through the night.
- Scripture: Isaiah 26:3
Day 7 – Living Free
- Morning Practice – Joyful Release
- Begin with gratitude: name three simple gifts.
- Pray: “Thank You, Jesus, for freedom from striving. I am Yours.”
- Scripture: 2 Corinthians 3:17
- Evening Practice – Sabbath of the Soul
- Reflect on your week: Where do you feel lighter, freer, or more trusting?
- Offer this prayer: “God, keep teaching me to love without clinging and to give without fear.”
- Scripture: Colossians 3:1–3